Wednesday 10 December 2008

The camera never lies...or does it?

For those of you that know me, you're probably wondering about the photo... I can hear you muttering, 'Who's that babe? Looks nothing like the old dog I was chatting to yesterday...'
Well, it is me, or more accurately, it was me. Five years ago.

My friend Sue and I were both going through divorces at the time and we decided to treat ourselves to a girlie make-over and photography session. Bit like therapy, but with feather boas...

We had a superb evening and came away with a new-found confidence: 'We are still gorgeous; we will shag again.' So much so, that we found ourselves seduced into buying super-duper, de-luxe photo portfolios. At super-duper, de-luxe prices...

A week later, mine arrived and I could hardly contain the excitement as I tore off the wrapping and yanked at the protective cardboard box. I'm positive I was drooling a little as I lifted the leather flaps.

Oh.My.God.

Our wonderfully tasteful, ever-so-much-fun, confidence-boosting photos were fantastic. If we'd been lesbians wanting a loving reminder of our meaningful relationship. But we weren't. And we didn't.

Now admittedly, we knew we were taking our shirts off, slipping down our bra straps, and posing with silk drapes tucked under our armpits, but neither of us realised how kinky it would actually look.

Not exactly the kind of thing I could upload onto a dating site, now, is it?

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